


For who could ever have to love a Beast?

by Eleanor_Bennet (Eleonor_Bennet)



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Chloe Decker Finds Out, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Introspection, Lucifer Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 17:52:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17472185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleonor_Bennet/pseuds/Eleanor_Bennet
Summary: The distance between Lucifer and Chloe is something I imagine will happen in the very first part of next season.Obviously, my mind wants to solve this in the fluffiest way ever. Oops.OrJust a little silly something I wrote some time ago.





	For who could ever have to love a Beast?

"... Because, sometimes, you realize you've met the love of your life even after the briefest touch of your hands, a laugh, or a shy kiss, or yes... After a ticket for high speed!" The crowd laughed at that, while the blond actress's eyes filled with melancholic tears."That's... That's what happened when I met John. I knew he was the one, even if we came from two different worlds, to say the least." Penelope fondly smiled, images of the past wandered in her mind until she met her daughter's figure. And then, just then, the sadness lifted from her heart and became pure and simple _love_. She still had that powerful feeling in her, and it still had John's name... But not only his. Because, for some miraculous and beautiful reason, they've been able to have their love personified in that strong, stubborn and amazing woman now staring at her mother with a lost look. 

As every mother, Penelope just knew what those blue eyes were searching, even if her daughter would've never admitted she needed an advice. "There are many reasons why I decided to write down my biography. Many of you, I'm sure, must be thinking I love being admired and deeply known" Other laughs and clapping of hands, and the skilled actress laughed with all of them "And that's partly true, you all know my ego! But... There's more." 

She looked straight into her daughter's eyes, ignoring the rest of her guests and fans "As frivolous as it can seem, this book speaks about hope. About love. And about how, sometimes, logic and reason must be put apart. Sometimes, to reach happiness, you have to fill yourself with courage and hope... And just let go of all those boundaries your mind puts on your heart. It may seem impossible, it may seem crazy... It can hurt, yes. But it's worth it. "

And while the crowd screamed and applauded, Chloe's eyes glistened with tears. 

 

Finally, the soiree came to an end. Chloe's feet were hurting like mad, and she wasn't tipsy enough to bare another of her mother's admirer. Her cheeks hurt, too, because of all the _"Smile, darling!"_ Penelope had whispered every time she'd felt the urge to roll her eyes. 

But she had made it. And it hadn't been simple. Not just because she wasn't really a party girl, but for the roller-coaster of emotions the all evening gave her.

Hearing about her dad was always bittersweet. Pain was always there, and then there was the happiness of old times, and then again pain because that feeling was now so far, far away. 

Then, as a perfect red cherry on top, her mother's speech had been able to shake her at the very core. 

So, goodbye to her purpose of not thinking about a certain Devil, and about their peculiar situation. 

Those words kept going around in her overthinking mind, every time hitting a different nerve: their relationship, her fears, all the Celestial questions, what she felt about Lucifer... The list was longer every time she thought about it. 

There were a million reasons to stop her self-inflicted torture. Lucifer was too different from her, they were worlds apart. She wasn't exactly his type, he wasn't reliable. She was a boring, workaholic detective and a mother, while he despised children and was the actual Devil.

_"See? Million reasons."_ The voice inside her head sounded judging, but this time was a little insecure. Actually, it was always insecure when it came to Lucifer's matters, since the voice, too, didn't believe her own words. Chloe knew that those were all excuses, that they definitely were all false. 

Lucifer was reliable, in his own way. 

Lucifer liked her daughter, or at least he tolerated her. 

Lucifer worked with her and _knew her_. And, honestly, this last thing was the most important one. 

_"What's refraining you, monkey?"_ her mother had asked in a recent heart to heart chatting. In that circumstance, the detective hadn't been able to give a reasonable answer. How could she explain her fears to her mother? How could she tell her that she was scared to death about being in love with _the Devil_? How could she tell her that this love terrified her, because it was so much more than anything she'd ever felt for a man? How could she tell her that she didn't feel worthy of him? That he was spending, lately, most of his time with an immortal woman who certainly was able to understand him more than she could ever do? 

Pain stung in her heart, like a sharp knife cutting deep in her very soul, and suddenly she was out of air. She forced herself to walk to the terrace, away from the people still longing in the luxurious room Penelope had rent for the occasion. 

Not so far away, the dark sea was calm. Gentle waves hit the shore, their lulling sound interrupted here and there by laughs and human voices from inside. Stars shone bright in the black sky. A shy slice of moon tried to obscure their brilliance, but it was useless... Their light couldn't be darkened. 

Chloe's eyes wandered on those shiny points, suddenly smiling but still with tears in their eyes. 

They were beautiful... Just like the soul who'd enlightened them, a long time ago. 

Her mother's words started dancing around those stars, started getting real, started permeating her heart, too, and Chloe knew she was right. As hard as it was to admit it, Penelope was so damn right. 

She was brave in so many fields of her life, but when it came to deal with emotions she was simply a messy coward. How many times did she deny herself what she wanted? How many times did she hide behind a smile and a shrug, while her heart was aching? 

It'd happened with Dan, before. She had tried so hard to save their marriage, swallowing so many bitter bites whenever her former husband had an excuse for not being present with their daughter. Day after day, her smile had become just a mask, while her insides were boiling with dissatisfaction, anger and pain for her little child. Had it been worth it, taking it all inside? Obviously, no. 

It was never a good thing to hide feelings, because sooner or later they'd find a way to get out. And they'd do it in the worst way, most of the times... 

Rationally, Chloe knew it. And hadn't been her the one to ask Lucifer - more than once - to speak the truth to her? She knew she was just inflicting herself too much pain, only because she was scared about the perspective of a relationship with him. So, she kept lying to herself. And lying was never a good thing... Speaking in Lucifer's words. 

"Monkey, you're coming home?" 

Her mother's voice broke the silence around her, forcing Chloe to wipe her eyes and plaster a smile on her face. 

"In a minute, mom. I was just-" 

"Let me guess... Poetically admiring the sea?" Penelope wasn't easy to fool. Her knowing smile told Chloe what she suspected during her speech... Her mother was talking to her. 

"I'll watch Trixie for the night. You can... Keep staring at nothing or dare to do something. It's your choice... But remember... Sometimes, take risks isn't that bad." 

_Take risks_... The familiar voice of her partner and a particularly hot image came to her mind, making her face burn with embarrass - and maybe something else, too. Could she do it? Take this sentimental risk? At the cost of being crashed by a colossal  _"No, thank you"_? 

"Mom?" Penelope was already descending the stairs that led to the parking lot, coat in her hand and car keys in another, but she immediately stop at that word that still made her heartbeat increase. 

"Congratulations for your book. Daddy would be proud of you..." 

Blue eyes stared in blue eyes, two smiles reflected each other, and soft "Thank you" were whispered, in the end, by both of the women. Both for different reasons. 

 

Chloe couldn't tell how many minutes she spent on that balcony, before deciding to descend on the beach. 

And she couldn't tell how she got in the exact spot where, for the first time, she'd discovered how the Devil's lips felt against hers. 

The only thing she knew was that she was still wasting her time, still pondering whether to take said risks or keep living in this sort of limbo. She laughed at her own thought... _Limbo_... Was it real, too? She'd have to ask Lucifer about it. Actually, she'd have to ask him a lot of supernatural things. _A lot_. 

But first, she'd have to find the courage to actually speak to him. So, after wandering with her eyes on the dark sea, Chloe took her phone and typed a message. Then, she waited.

 

* * *

 

It was a typical Lux night. Music, dancers, hot people drinking and asking him all sorts of favours: nothing new for the Devil himself. And maybe it was precisely this, the reason why he wasn't enjoying the general enthusiasm. It was all too  _typical._ Lucifer was everything but that, and it was strange since he usually loved to see people around him having fun.

Lately, things had been different for him. It was like his old life was back, the one in which he was just Lucifer Morningstar, Lux's owner, the Devil who was able to fulfill every single desire, and nothing else. Funny how this was exactly what he wanted from the day he thought he was becoming too vulnerable for his reputation... Funny, because right now this was exactly what he  _didn't want at all._

Since the  _Cain thing_ , Lucifer was missing something. The light that had filled his days until Charlotte's murder and what happened next, had just faded away. The reasons were too many, or maybe only one... The same that in ages had tormented him: the fact that a monster can't be happy.

He still saw the detective's face in his vivid dreams. Those light blue eyes full of fear, the way she moved away from him at a barely perceivable speed, but that for him was too, too fast. And under her shocked gaze, every time he felt the clear pang of pain and sorrow and  _shame._  His scarred face wasn't meant to be showed to a pure soul, let alone to the most beautiful one he'd ever known on Earth. 

But that happened, and now her light, her special normality, her laughs and tender smiles, and  _\- Dad -_ her soft kisses were out of his life. Maybe forever.

He tried to wash the pain with another shot of tequila and enjoyed, even if only for the slightest time, the burn in his throat and the warm feeling in his stomach. But it was too fast, like...  _nothing._

"Why so serious, darling?" The seductive and very familiar tone of his old friend projected him back to the reality, but he didn't bother to reply. His dark eyes stayed focused on a something in front of him, not really focused at all. He heard her huff and move next to him, too close for his mood, and her hand started rubbing circles on his left arm. "I know I'm not helping... with my presence here and all."

He chuckled bitterly.  _Not helping_ was the understatement of the millennia. "Really?" He shook his head and looked with displeasure at his empty glass. He didn't mean to be harsh, nor he was giving her the fault of the entire situation with the Detective. But Eve's timing had truly been awful, and that was a fact no one could ever deny. 

"Yes, really. Look..." She shifted again, so that she could face him. And if it wasn't for his current state, or for his damn feelings and the lack of someone in particular, he would've liked a lot the view. Her dark, long brown hair cascading on her bare shoulders,her deep V dress, exposing just the right amount of flash... A flash he already had savored a long time ago. She was undeniably beautiful. But the thing was... She was a beautiful woman in a room full of beautiful people. And for the first time in his eternal life, he didn't enjoy this perfection. 

No. In that moment he craved for a  _normal_ night in a very  _normal_ living room, with glasses of cheap red wine and the screams of a hyperactive child. And the soft laugh of a certain woman... He craved for this, and it was strange and natural at the same time.

"Look, maybe I can do something. I mean, I already talked to her, even if not of personal things... Maybe I can do it again. Maybe I can convince her that between us..." Eve continued, but with a gesture he suggested her to shut up.

"This is not the point.  _You_ are not the point." His voice was dark, but not intimidating. 

"Then what?"

And just as he was about to reply that _he_ was the bloody point in his relationship - or whatever the Hell it was - with Chloe, his phone beeped. It wasn't too long after he read the name on the screen that he jumped on his heels, heading for the stares. His friend called his name once, twice, she tried to reach him, but he was already outside.

* * *

Waiting was excruciating. She knew he was coming, since he'd immediately replied that he was on his way, but that was  _Insecurity night_ for Chloe. So, she paced back and forth on the beach, her high heels taken off at some point of her wandering around, and even if it was never cold in LA in that time of the year, she felt shivers running down her spine. 

Plus, her heart was achingly bumping in her chest, stopping abruptly at every noise she heard, only to start again his unnatural rhythm all over again. Taking risks wasn't so good, she thought more than once. Her body seemed ready to implode, not to mention her mind calculating every single bad possibility. Because yes, she was convinced that nothing good could've come from this confrontation. 

When a familiar roaring came from the distance, she actually thought about running away. It was dark enough to do it, after all. 

_"Coward!"_ Her inner voice screamed, and this time she was so damn right. So, she stayed right where she was, feet not moving anymore and eyes focused on a certain black Corvette parking unceremoniously right where the beach began. She considered reporting him or simply giving him a ticket for this, but the only thought was too hilarious. Not to mention that a ticket, for a man like Lucifer Morningstar, was like paying an ice cream. The thought made her chuckle.

"Something's funny, Detective?"

She hadn't realized he was already close to her, so she jumped and immediately regretted it, since his expression - at first light, but still tense - became darker.  _Sad._

"Sorry, I didn't saw you - "

"No need to explain yourself, Det- "

She didn't give him time to finish his sentence. Chloe rapidly close the gap between them, leaving only a few inches for precaution - she didn't want to invade his personal space - and shushed him. 

"No, that's exactly why I wanted you here. To  _explain._ " She marked the last word, eyes scrutinizing her partner. He seemed tired, as if he wasn't sleeping from ages. And he had this sadness in his expression, as if he already surrendered to something he didn't really want. Usually, she was good in reading his cryptic face. And this time was no exception: she felt  _she_ had caused this mood of his. "Promise me you won't interrupt me... Because what I'm going to say is hard for me..."

He nodded, never tearing his gaze off of her. And then she read some sort of fear in his dark, ancient eyes, and she just wanted to wipe it away, hug him and tell him that everything was fine. But he would've never believed her. Not if she didn't state her point firmly. So, Chloe took a huge breath and hoped her heart stayed in her chest.

"Things between us have been... Strange, lately." He huffed a laugh, and she chuckled too. "And... I'm sorry. I told you it was fine, for me, to have you by my side, and then I acted like an idiot and started pushing you away. Until now..." 

She could do this. Definitely. 

Another breath.

"We're strangers, now, and I don't like it at all." His smile became bitter at her words, and he moved his eyes to some point behind her. "Lucifer, I'm serious. I don't like it. I don't want this...  _We are not_ like this." This made him look at her again, and her heart stopped skipping beats. "I reacted badly, when Pierce tried to kill us and I saw your face. Of that I'm very aware."

"You reacted as you were expected to react, Detective." He sounded like he was losing patience, like he wasn't believing her. And it was now that she had to be fierce.

"No, definitely not, Lucifer. We were at a point, back then, in which we trusted each other. We promised each other, just minutes before that mess, that we'd been by the other's side no matter what. I told you that you weren't  _The Devil_ to me. And it was true. It is true." It still didn't hit him. He still was blaming himself for who he was. "I know many monsters in my job. Many. People who  _like_ to kill, whether it is for revenge or fun. People who kidnap, threat, rape other people. Those are the monsters, Lucifer. It's their faces that scare me. Their wicked smile, their words make me chill. They make me sick to the stomach."

"I murdered too." 

He immediately added, and now she was the one losing patience. But she refrained herself. Or, at least, she tried to. "Pierce was firing at us. He wanted to kill us. And honestly, now that I know everything, I would've killed him too, since he betrayed my trust and lied to me. He played with my feelings, with my own body. He is a monster, to me. So stop blaming yourself for his death, and stop blaming yourself for literally everything, Lucifer!"

She didn't mean it to shout, but still... 

She inhaled deeply, again. "There's a difference between you and him. Or between you and everyone else you so love to compare to. You're  _not them._ You say you're evil, but you actually  _punish_ evil. You say you don't care, that you don't have a clue about feelings, and yet you're the only one who's ever made me feel  _safe_ and cared. From day one you showed me how much you can care. Honestly... How can I not love you?" 

 That was it. She spoke those damn words out loud, and as scared as she was in that moment, Chloe didn't want an immediate answer. So, she tried not to focus on Lucifer's shocked face and went on with her heartily monologue. "How can I not want you in my life? I don't have to recall every time you were by my side. Every time you saved my life. You want to know what scares me the most?" 

Obviously, no answer came from the Devil, but he was listening. He was finally listening and her heart felt a little warmer. "I'm scared about myself. Because, after seeing your face, I realized I'm... I'm only a human. One of the many, many humans on this planet. While you... Well, what can you possibly see in me? I definitely don't have your lifestyle, I'm all work and home, I'm already asleep at 9pm... I mean... I'm not one of those fancy women - or men - you always hang out with. Nor am I an impossibly hot immortal woman who knows you from centuries. I'm just... Me. And this,  _this_ scares me because I don't think I'm worthy of you. This scares me because I never felt so much love for someone who's not my own daughter. This scares me because I can't promise to be with you forever, since I only have this life, but I want to promise you that, if you accept me, I'll try to take the best from every moment we'll share. You scare me because when I'm with you, I'm the woman I never dared to be... At work or not, you make me better. And I honestly never thought I could've been better than what I was when we met. And you know that not knowing things scares me. This... This is what I'm afraid of. Not you, nor your face or who you are."

Her cheeks were, at that point, the same shade as her dress.  _Fire red._ And she didn't dare to look at him, since the courage of before suddenly seemed vanished. 

But then, his fingers brushed her chin, soft at the beginning and more firm when he made it clear he wanted her to meet his eyes again. The incredulous smile on his face was the most beautiful thing Chloe had ever seen in her life, and suddenly her fears were gone. 

"You silly, crazy woman..."

The words were barely a whisper, and then his lips were on hers and Chloe almost didn't realize what was happening. It was surreal and real at the same time. Her heart was free, and she knew his was too. The kiss was gentle and rough, passionate and soft... Impossible and possible. 

When they parted, they were both smiling and stupidly laughing, as two teenagers at their first kiss. And maybe it was exactly this. A human and the Devil kissing for something different from mere sexual purposes - a first, really.

Lucifer felt the urge to close the space between them again, so he hugged her tight, his lips on her ear, and started singing. A whisper, again. 

_"Remember the first dance we shared?_  
_Recall the night you melted my ugliness away?_  
_The night you left with a kiss so kind_  
_Only a scent of beauty left behind"_

Tears pricked at Chloe's eyes, but the smile didn't fade. "You won't make me break into songs, you Devil!"

He laughed, still tightening his arms around her small, fragile form. "No, it's not like we're in some sort of absurd Disney movie your daughter loves so much..." 

He rolled his eyes, while she broke into laughs. "I think we can be much better, Lucifer... Much better." She finally whispered. 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I had the courage to publish something. Don't know how I feel about this, don't even know why I waited this long.  
> My insecurities always hit me hard, now more than ever, but more than someone told me I had to take risks... So, just like Miss Decker here, it's exactly what I'm trying to do right now.  
> Thanks to all of you who, on Twitter or under other work of mine, told me to "go on". I don't always reply to you, but every single word you say is very important to me. Very, very important.  
> Thank you.
> 
> Ps. As always, I'm Italian so... Pardon me for my bad English grammar.
> 
> Pps. Title and Lucifer's "song" are from "Beauty and the Beast" by Nightwish.  
> I'm thinking about continuing the story, but I can't promise anything


End file.
